All we'd ever need
by Lisablackroses
Summary: I should've been chasing you. I should've been trying to prove that you were all that mattered to me. I should've said all the things that I kept inside of me. And maybe I could've made you believe that what we had was all we'd ever need.


**This one-shot is based on the song All we'd ever need from Lady antebellum. Enjoy!**

**RPOV**

It has been almost five years since the last time I saw him. Five years since he left me. Said the love between us wasn't enough. And I know that somewhere it was all my fault. After that night we shared in the cabin it all went wrong. He said we needed to back off from each other. That things couldn't happen between us until graduation.

But boy, what was I stupid at the time. Couldn't stand to be too far away from him for so long. And every time I tried to be close to him. To push him. And from the moment on we just had fight after fight. All over stupid little things. And after a couple weeks, just two weeks for graduation things went too far and I lost him. The man who is known for his self-control lost it.

I had never heard him shouting things to me. But I just had to push too far. I was jealous for no reason. All I could see was how happy everyone was with their boyfriend of girlfriend and I couldn't even make mine kiss me or say he loved me. And I knew the reasons. All of them.

That night I tried to kiss him and he gave in. After he kissed me back I wanted more. But he pushed me away and I went mad. He went angry and lost his self-control. He screamed at me and left me. Left us and left the academy. They told me he needed to get back to Russia and after it I never seen him again.

Now, five years later, I live at court. I am Lissa's guardian. She has a high position at the counsel of the queen. And she invited me to the Christmas party tonight. Not to be her guardian, but as her friend. If that isn't bad enough she also set up a date for me tonight. She managed to get some moroi guy to come with Christian. She has been talking about him for weeks but I told her every time that I didn't have time for dates. But Lissa being Lissa. She found a way.

I am dressed in a tight little red dress and red high heels. With Christmas you should wear red, right. Waiting for Lissa and Christian to pick me up my mind just keep wondering where he would be. What he would be doing and if he ever thinks of me.

I hear a knock on the door and a couple moments later Lissa, Christian and I are on our way to the ball room. When we reach our destiny a nervous looking man is waiting. When he sees Lissa and Christian he smiles to them and then his eyes come down to me.

He is handsome. Standing is his nice black suit. Blond hair and stunning brown eyes. Nothing like his eyes. No, don't think of him. Not tonight. His eyes met mine and he looks kind. I shake his hand and he gives a small kiss on my hand. His name is Patrick. He rest his hand on my back and takes me inside.

There are a lot of people. All dressed very nice and somewhere I'm glad that Lissa made me come here. And maybe with Patrick I could finally forget him for a while. There's a band playing songs and people are dancing. It is a long time ago that I danced. I keep watching the dance floor desirous. Wanting to keep dancing all night long.

But Patrick pulls me to a table on the side of the room and sits down with me. Saying something about he isn't a good dancer. And I know that this isn't going anywhere. How do I always end up with those dates that just aren't the right ones for me?

A little voice in my head is saying that I already met the man that's right for me but I lost him. And somewhere deep inside of me I know it is right. After losing him I knew that I was never going to find happiness with someone else.

After a while sitting next to Patrick and chatting with him I can't stand it any longer. I tell Patrick that I need to go to the toilet and start finding Lissa. When I have walked around the room twice I sit down by myself and wander.

What if I did everything different? That I never pushed him and never make him scream at me. Would he still be with me? Should we be living together and wake up in his arms? At that moment I hear the lyrics of the song. As if they play it just for me.

_Boy it's been all this time  
__And I can't get you off my mind  
__And nobody knows it but me_

_I stare at your photograph  
__Still sleep in the shirt you left  
__And nobody knows it but me  
__Every day I wipe my tears away  
__So many nights I've prayed for you to say_

I get up quickly before anybody notice that I have a difficult time to keep the tears in. Why did I have to sit up so far from the doors? I do everything to keep him of my mind.

But one song, one little thing and everything comes back. My heart is still broken. The song keeps following me when I try to make it to the exit.

_I should've been chasing you  
__I should've been trying to prove  
__That you were all that mattered to me_

_I should've said all the things  
__That I kept inside of me  
__And maybe I could've made you believe  
__That what we had was all we'd ever need_

Oh, I wished I could turn back time. I would do everything different. Keep my distance when he needed it. And tell him more how much I loved him. And I still love him. So much it hurts.

Happy Christmas to myself. Another Christmas without him. Without his embrace and his beautiful smile. I would give everything to be with him right now and apologize for everything.

If I only knew where he is. I tried to contact him a couple of times. But I guess he changed phones since. I tried to make Alberta talk. But even she didn't knew where he went.

When I finally left the room the song is almost over. The last lines play when the tears start rolling down my cheeks.

_Oh, you should've said all the things  
__That I kept inside of me  
__And maybe you could've maid me believe  
__That what we had, girl  
__Oh, that what we had,  
__What we had, was all we'd ever need  
__It was all we'd ever need_

And in the moment the song plays the last notes it's when I see him. Standing tall and being handsome. He still wears that duster of him and his hear is shoulder length.

But when I meet his eyes. Oh, his beautiful brown eyes. The world around my doesn't exist anymore. Only he and I exist in this very moment. My memories never set him totally right. And before I know it his name escape my lips.

'Dimitri…'

**DPOV**

She was my world. My sunshine and my stars. And I left her. What was I stupid at the time. And now, after five years I still can't get her off my mind. Her beautiful smile, her beautiful eyes and, oh, her beautiful body. She was kind, sweet, funny and sexy. She was everything I ever needed.

And I let her go. I wished I never screamed at her and never left her. Maybe, just maybe, we would be together now. That I could hold her and wake up next to her every morning. And I wouldn't be alone this Christmas. After I left her and the academy I went back to Russia. An old classmate of mine, David, needed a new guardian so I took the position.

And how crazy life can turn out. We were at court this Christmas. And because he didn't need me as a guardian here he suggested that I would have some fun. Or what he thought was fun. So I was getting ready for a Christmas party. I rather spent the night on the couch, reading one of mine old western books.

But because David new that, he insisted in picking me up. I slide on my duster and walk outside to wait for David. I let my mind drift of towards her. Wonder where she is right now. I wonder if she's happy and with somebody tonight. The thought of her being with another guy breaks my heart.

When David arrives I pull myself out of my thought and use my guardian mask. We walk in silence to the ball room and I keep staring at the beautiful moon. There is a full moon tonight. Just as the night I left her. The moment we arrive David tells me to stay at least for an hour and he leaves. It makes me smile for a moment that he guessed my plan.

I wanted to walk around the room and then leave this place to read that book that's waiting on me. I grab myself a beer and sit with a couple guardians that I've seen a couple of times now. My eyes scan the room and I find myself searching for her. But knowing that I wouldn't find her here.

Finally, a whole hour has passed, so I can escape safely. I don't mind being at a party. But I'm glad that I can leave now. I'm saying my goodbyes to the guardians at the table and start walking towards the exit. It's then that the lyrics of the song comes in.

_My friends think I'm moving on  
__But the truth is I'm not that strong  
__And nobody knows it but me_

_And I've kept all the words you said  
__In a box underneath my bed  
__And nobody knows it but me_

_But if you're happy I'll get through somehow.  
__But the truth is that I've been screaming out_

I walk a little faster out of the room to escape the lyrics that seems to be chasing me. It's like the song knows what's been hunting me. That I need to go distract myself every day to find sleep. If I let myself think of her, I won't be able to sleep all night.

And I keep repeating the words that's been said between us. And every moment we shared. Every fight and every kiss. I lean against the wall and close my eyes to listen more carefully to the next lines of the song.

_I should've been chasing you  
__I should've been trying to prove  
__That you were all that mattered to me  
__I should've said all the things  
__That I kept inside of me  
__And maybe I could've made you believe  
__That what we had was all we'd ever need  
__It was all we'd ever need  
__Oh, I thought it was all we'd ever need_

Wished that I could go back in time and do it all over. I would tell her everything I kept inside of me. Tell her how much I loved her. How beautiful she was and how much she means to me. I didn't get it at the time.

But as the teenage girl she still was. She was so insecure when it came to the two of us. I needed my sister to figure it out. All that time that I thought that we were fine and there were no doubts about what there was between us. It appears that she needed comfort and me telling her how much she meant to me. And when I didn't. She kept picking fights with me. I wish I did know that at the time.

When I open my eyes it's like I'm seeing a ghost. There she is. She changed a little over the years. She looks more like a woman now. But her hair. Still that beautiful and long. She never cut it in a short style. It makes me wonder if it makes her think of me. She wears a tight little red dress that looks amazing.

Oh, but when she turns towards me. Her beautiful eyes, those would always light up when she saw me. Her beautiful lips, perfect made for kissing. When her eyes meet mine the whole world fades away. Only we exist in this very moment. And before I can stop it, her name escapes my lips.

'Roza...'

**I hope you liked it. And I would really appreciate it when you leave me a review!**


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